PRO a further playlet/sketch by Mark Beevers 1998
Scene: A guy about to pass a pro in a dimly-lit doorway.
Pro: Looking for a good time, mister?
Guy: A good time?
Pro: Yeah. Y'know. Some good old rumpy-pumpy.
Guy: You a pro?
Pro: Professional and willing.
Guy: For a shilling?
Pro: Mister you ARE old. My mamma used to talk shillings.
Guy: Your mamma a pro too?
Pro: Cheeky.
Guy: Thanks for the offer, but no thanks.
Pro: You're married?
Guy: Err... yes I am.
Pro: Been a long while since you've had a good time, then.
Guy: Maybe.
Pro: Wanna come up?
Guy: beg your pardon?
Pro: Wanna join me on this step?
Guy: Rather public isn't it?
Pro: Ah, you seek private entertainment?
Guy: Well I really wasn't seeking anything.
Pro: Not even a way out of your marriage?
Guy: Why would you think that?
Pro: I'm good with faces.
Guy: Only faces?
Pro: Cheeky, cheeky.
Guy: How do I know you're not a cop?
Pro: Doing two jobs, you mean?
Guy: No. It could be a trap. I might read about myself in the newspaper for soliciting a prostitute.
Pro: You're not a solicitor, then? I get many of those. Besides, I'm doing the soliciting.
Guy: No, soliciting is not my profession, nor is it my leisure-time hobby.
Pro: You don't have a hobby-horse about women on the game, then?
Guy: No. I mean, who's exploiting whom? But as I say, I could be a mouse headed for the pussycat's trap.
Pro: Sounds Freudian.
Guy: Do you know hm?
Pro: Cheeky, cheeky, cheeky. You're the OLD one here.
Guy: But not that old.
Pro: Well mister. Are you for or against what comes natural?
Guy: I'm all for it!!
Pro: Ok. Sold to the antique fella with the auctioneers's hammer down his trousers!!
CURTAIN
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