"THE 3 Ws"
Scene: A pub.
Landlord: You're looking for Wally Waster?
Drinker: That's the guy.
Landlord: He'll be in later.
Drinker: You know him, then? He's a poet, I understand.
Landlord: More a piss-artist.
Drinker: You've read his stuff?
Landlord: Some of it.
Drnker: You don't like it?
Landlord: I don't like poetry at all.
Drinker: Poetry's a gift. Got it from his parents did he?
Landlord: Didn't get it from the Muse!! Only got the accurate alliteration from his parents.
Drinker the accurate alliteration?
Landlord. Yeah. Wally Waster.
Drinker: It's a psuedonym isn't it?
Landlord: Why'd a pretencous poet want a name like that?
Drinker: He's pretencious?
Landlord: All poets are pretencious.
Drinker: How's that?
Landlord: They think they're on a higher plane than the rest of us.
Drinker: Well if he's a piss-artist he will be on a higher plane!!
Landlord: Hey up. Here he comes now.
Wally enters.
Landlord: What'll it be son?
Wally: The usual dad. Pint bitter.
Drinker: Dad?
Landlord: Yeah. I told you his mum and me gave him the alliteration.
Wally(takes beer): Cheers dad.
Drinker: So your surname's Waster?
Landlord: Well I do own this pub.
Wally: The Waster's Arms folk call this place. Strange name for a pub where the regulars get legless!!
Landlord: And here's my wife, Wally's mum.
Wife enters.
Drinker: Hello Mrs Waster.
Wife: Call me Wendy.
Drinker: Wendy Waster?
Landlord: And I'm Willy.
Drinker: Willy Waster?
Wife: That's right. Willy, Wendy and Wally. That's why the pub sign says "The 3 Ws".
Wally: And you are...?
Drinker: Looking for a special verse for my Valentine card. Sounds like I've come to the right place.
Landlord: Or maybe the wrong one.
Wife: My husband is averse to verse.
Wally: But I'm not. The girl you've in mind is...?
Drinker: Pricilla.
Wife: And you are...?
Drinker: Sorry. Didn't I say? Looking for a special verse for my Valentine card.
Landlord: Piss-head.
CURTAIN
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