CAT ON THE FIDDLE
Scene: Two men at bar.
1st: Look on the bright side, mate. Kate made off with your money, nobody else's. It shows she thought something about you.
2nd: Yeah. She thought what a fool.
1st: Don't be hard on yourself. It was your money she focused on. She might have liked to get her hands on mine, but ultimately it was your money she loved.
2nd: Now I'm broke as well as broken-hearted.
1st: I read in a book where it says women are nest-builders, that's why they like men's money. Not that they always want children, mind you. They just like to build nests... and tuck away a little nest-egg.
2nd: I must be the cuckoo who shared the nest. Shared the nest with a bird of prey.
1st: Well that's one way of looking at it, but let's try get a positive angle on this, shall we? Out of all the hapless mugs on this planet she chose you. What does that tell you?
2nd: It tells me I'm the biggest mug in the world!!
1st: Hmmm... err... yes... well then...
2nd: It tells me that if life is a circus I'm the biggest clown of all!!
1st: Billy Smart owned a circus. He wasn't a clown. Look at his surname.
2nd: Doesn't mean he was bright. Smarting from shame more like.
1st: We're not getting anywhere, are we?
2nd: Only deeper down.
1st: Yes I'm getting a sinking feeling too.
2nd: I'm a drowning man.
1st: That's it!! What you need is a Mae West.
2nd: A Mae West?
1st: Yes. Not a safety-jacket named after her, but a real live and kicking Mae West type. Lots of laughs and sex.
2nd: I just want my money back.
1st: It's gone, mate. Gone. She'll have built a new nest in a tree-top by now, while you're sitting here down in the dumps.
2nd: Too true. I've been dddled and dumped.
1st: Many a good tune played on an old diddle.
2nd: Is that somehow meant to cheer me up? And don't you mean fiddle?
1st: Well fiddle can mean two things.
2nd: You bet, half-wit ( gives two-fngered v-sign).
CURTAIN
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